Remember that tv commercial? A woman runs through a maze. Twists and turns, dark corners everywhere. No exit in sight. Turns out, the maze was her depression. Though she looked fine on the outside, inside, she felt trapped. Overwhelmed.
That is exactly what depression feels like.
Since January 2011, Bell Let’s Talk runs a campaign to fight the stigma around mental illness. Every time someone watches a Bell Let’s Talk video or tweets #BellLetsTalk, Bell Canada donates 5 cents to the cause. Those nickels add up — $100 million given to community initiatives for mental illness. More importantly, I see people talking about depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses.
By the age of 40, 1 in 2 Canadians will have or have had a mental illness. Depression is the most common.
I have treated patients with depression, both young and old who are successful men and women. I see how hard it is for them to talk about it. How hard it was for them to get help. The well-meaning folks who struggled to understand, telling them to “snap out of it.” Or “get over it.” Or “you have every reason to be happy.”
Here’s the thing: depression isn’t the same as sadness. It’s not a bad day or a bad week. With all its associated chemical changes in your brain and body, depression is much more profound.
Many people with depression become adept at wearing masks to get through the day. On the surface, they may look fine. Inside, they feel trapped. Knowing they should be happy. Feeling anguished instead. Stuck at the bottom of a dark pit. Overwhelmed. The smallest action feeling monumentally difficult. Everything is affected — the way they think, eat, sleep. At its worst, depression can make them want to stop their suffering by committing suicide.
It’s not clear why some get depressed and others don’t. People can face extraordinary life challenges and not get depressed. Meanwhile others can have everything go right, and be very, very ill. Like diabetes, people can still get depressed even if they do “everything right” — eat well, exercise, sleep well, work hard, meditate, live a good life. That’s why getting help is so important.
For those with loved ones who are depressed, you can help. Be patient. Be gentle. Understand that healing is like learning how to walk again: it takes time. Help them get the help they need and find a way out of the maze.
(First published in the Independent Free Press on January 17, 2019.)